It’s 2024! You know what that means? It’s an election year. No matter how much you may cheer (or groan) in the direction of certain political figures this year, you must remember to always be informed. In this article, I’m going to walk you through the six main political candidates that you may see in 2025 in a White House near you.
DISCLAIMER: The contents of this article are (mostly) satirical takes on unbiased fact. Please take all of these with a grain of salt.
Democratic Party:
Joe Biden – Our current POTUS, Joe is standing strong at eighty-one years young (eighty-two by Inauguration Day 2025) and surprisingly running for re-election. Joe is by far the oldest president in U.S. history, he is actually older than former president Bill Clinton by around four years. Clinton was president 23 years ago. Apparently, with age comes likeability, because Joe Biden seems to be the most popular vote for Democrats. Some people have lost faith in him, though, as his somewhat lackluster term in office have left heads scratching as to whether he should lead our country for another four years.
Marianne Williamson – Marianne Williamson is a name that may sound familiar to some, since this is her second consecutive time running for president in the Democratic party. She’s also a published self-help author and apparently former spiritual advisor to Oprah Winfrey. An impressive resume, but considering her former campaign’s less-than-ideal success and her very… interesting takes on mental health, she doesn’t seem to be the leading candidate at the moment.
Dean Phillips – Dean Phillips has been part of the House of Representatives since 2018, and while he is part of the Democratic Party, he often butts heads with his main Democratic contemporary (I say contemporary, but Joe has over 20 years on Dean). Dean, born and raised in Minnesota, is much more center-leaning than his party competitors, and has dropped leadership roles in the House to run for president.
Republican Party:
Donald Trump – There are few (if any) people in the United States that don’t know the name Donald Trump. A former president from 2016 up until 2020, Trump seems to be the favorite to win over the Republican Party. There is one small, teensy-weensy issue, though, he’s currently being indicted for many different crimes, including that of spreading disinformation and causing the infamous raid on the Capitol on Jan 6, 2021. Trump is a very controversial figure in the United States, but he is very well loved among far right Republicans, which may lead him to be their representative in the upcoming election.
Nikki Haley – Nikki Haley is the youngest potential candidate at only 52 years of age. She seems to be an up and coming rival to Trump, gaining frankly unprecedented support from the Republican party. With Trump’s minor legal issues, Haley might have a real shot at being the Republican candidate for 2024. Nikki hails as a former governor in South Carolina, and has also worked under Trump (with whom she shares an interesting relationship) as a United Nations ambassador during his tenure in the White House.
Ryan Binkley – Ryan Binkley, a businessman and pastor of a Texas church, has never held any positions in office. This is also his first time running for presidency. He appeals to many of the more radical, southern Republicans with a strong religious standing. Being a pastor, he does have a tendency to involve God in his speeches, which won’t go down as well when he learns about the separation of church and state.
From self-help authors to pastors to aging ex-presidents, the 2024 election is sure to have some surprises. This article isn’t here to demonstrate opinions (because we all know how that would go down), but merely facts. It’s crucial to stay informed in this day and age so we’re not stuck with an incapable president for the next four years. There’s no one in our student body that is able to vote just yet, but if you’re able to inform yourself and then inform others who can vote, we can make a difference and lead our country to success.
God bless America!
